Giving a “unflinching, no-holds-barred view of what it means to be a teenage guy in the 21st century,” Gerali helps anyone who works with youth better understand who teenage guys are, how they think, and how to more effectively minister to them. In order to really meet their needs, youth workers and parents need to fully understand the inner workings of adolescent guys. The author unpacks the areas of development these guys experience, providing illustrations from his years as a youth pastor and therapist. On top of this Gerali adds practical research findings to equip youth workers with what it takes to minister to today’s teenage guy. The book was a kind of reference guide and eye opening journey as to what’s going on inside and around teenage young men. It has allowed me to be better equipped to help these guys walk through adolescence toward becoming mature, confident, Christian men. Let me quickly walk you through some of the book’s main points.The book is broken down into 5 categories with subcategories in each. The first category is Adolescence. It breaks apart the different stages of adolescence and some of the identifying characteristics of each. In each age and stage of adolescence, a guy must accomplish certain developmental tasks. A developmental task is the formation of attitudes, values, behaviors, and skills that will transition him from boyhood into manhood. Adolescence’s subcategory is simply “What guys need”. Quickly it could be broken down this way. 1. Guys need to be known and understood, 2. Guys need a close connection to God, 3. Guys need validation and empowerment as unique individuals, 4. Guys need community, 5. Guys need mentors, 6. Guys need to know how to work, 7. Guys need to lead and to follow, 8. Guys need to play, 9. Guys need the freedom to BE, and finally 10. Guys need to be loved.
The second category is “The Teenage Guy’s Body” with subcategories being “The Physical Body”, “Secondary Sex Characteristics”, and “Primary Sex Characteristics.” I think this is mostly for youth workers to are women and moms. Basically people trying to understand or remember what the heck is happening in a teenage guys body. It’s a straight-forward look coupled with some REALLY interesting scientific studies about how a guy develops. Covers some topics about why guys don’t mind being naked (and maybe even like it) why farting is cool, what happens in puberty, why teenage guys sleep a lot, and some study cases to help us understand.
Category three is about “The Teenage Guy’s Sexuality” subcategories including “Sexual identity development”, “Guys and Sex”, and “Homosexuality.” Very interesting stuff overall. This deals with the whole idea of male fascination with sex and how to develop a healthy outlook on it with teens. It explores myths and truths about testosterone and how that interacts with our sexual identities. Some “for-instances” in the myth category: “Guys want sex all the time” or “Guys have a sexual thought every four seconds.” The subcategory on homosexuality is extremely well crafted. The author assumes the reader will have already placed themselves in their own theological framework of this topic and doesn’t try to push his own agenda. He does however help the reader to understand the psyche of a teenager going through a struggle with his sexual orientation. With honesty and frankness he helps the reader to mend hurts and right wrongs in this area. This chapter is a definite read for those seeking to understand how to help anyone dealing with sexual identity issues.
The biggest section of the book is dedicated to category four: “The Teenage Guy’s Emotions” including subcategories “Emotional Myths the Influence Guys”, “Emotionally Abandoned Guys”, “Anger, Depression, & Suicide”, and “Aggression & Violence.” To keep this book review from becoming pages and pages of informational review it will be sufficient to say that this chapter is very helpful if you are looking to understand myths, truths, and helps with the range of teenage guy emotions, or help understanding why sometimes there seems to be no range at all. Advice and steps to connect are numerous in this chapter.
Continuing to section five of the book we interact with the topic of “The Teenage Guy’s Mind” that deals with his intellectual development. While the typical stereotype would say this should be a short chapter the subcategories in this topic include “A Guy’s Brain,” “From Concrete to Idealism,” and “Learning Problems.” Understanding how a guy thinks helps us to connect, draw them closer to God, and teach them to clearly share emotions, thoughts, and questions. It deals with some of the questions that often come up like why teenage guys like to be so “dangerous”, how having guys “focus” is better than having them be “emotional”, and how to deal with learning disabilities. Understanding a teenage guy’s brain will undoubtedly help youth workers more effectively minister to the whole person.
Nearing the end of the book we come to section six and tackle to category of a teenage guy’s social development in “The Teenage Guy’s Family and Friends.” “Male Identity Development”, “How Relationships Shape Guys”, “Guys and Family”, and “Rites of Passage: Blessing” are subcategories that keep the reading interesting and helpful. I enjoyed the passages and helpful tips in each section, but by far the Rites of Passage section brought some new understanding to how the transition between boy and man can be made easier, more understood but the teen, and a symbol of new responsibility and growth. Three quick things a rite of passage helps create in a teen guy are: 1. An inward realization that a guy has crossed over. 2. It validates him in the community of men. 3. It connects manhood and spirituality. It goes on to help youth workers and parents understand how to craft a rite of passage and lead guys to become young men.
Finally, we talk the faith formation of teens and learn about “The Teenage Guy’s Spirituality.” It’s sad that spirituality and masculinity are often time not interchangeable in our culture today. We need to understand that while spirituality is neither male nor female but rather transformational. Until we helps guys understand that by involving themselves in the church they are not neutering themselves we will have a tough time bringing up effective male leadership in the church. The rest of the chapter is a template of how beliefs are formed, challenged, changed, and strengthened…..especailly in guys. I found this section to be extremely helpful particularly because I am very concerned with how the teen guys in our youth group are solidifying beliefs and beginning to live by them.
These categories take you into the hearts, minds, and worlds of teenage guys and help the reader to understand plainly what is happening to these young men while also crafting strategies for youth workers and parents to advise and minister to the guys they are working with. Finally, the author’s intent was to have a strong mentoring undercurrent throughout the book. This overarching idea is in place to help the reader to do more than just understand/advise issues and provide them with a compass to see teenage guys navigate the storms of life and emerge on the other side as God-honoring men.
--Pastor Joe Wittmer
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