Jesus Wept

“He who himself does not wish to suffer cannot love him who has.” So said philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. But do we have to experience suffering in order to help others? In Bradley Hansen’s essay, “School of Suffering”, he suggests that Paul’s point to the church at Corinth (in 2 Cor. 1) is this: you cannot fully comfort others unless you have suffered yourself. “Direct experience of suffering and comfort,” he persuades, “gives a depth and sensitivity to compassion which is irreplaceable.” After all, Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:4: “God comforts us in our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction through the comfort we ourselves received from God.”

The phrase ‘so that’ in verse 4 is language of intent and enablement. NT scholar Scott Hafemann calls it “spiritual algebra.” The equation works something like this: Our suffering plus God’s comfort equals an ability to comfort others. “There is a psychological aspect to this,” says Hansen, “because someone who has experienced a certain kind of affliction is peculiarly equipped to help others with that affliction.”

One who has suffered is uniquely able to do three things: 1) empathize with the afflicted, 2) appreciate their sufferings, and even 3) identify with them as well. If a large part of suffering is the loneliness that accompanies it, as psychologists have concluded, only one who has been there, it stands to reason, can offer meaningful encouragement.

But does that mean we can’t help someone unless we’ve been there ourselves? Not necessarily.

Perhaps the greatest comfort that we can offer anyone who is struggling is this: Jesus Christ has been there and can understand your suffering. In taking on humanity, our Lord was subject to all of the limitations common to mankind. He grew tired, thirsty and weak. He underwent trials, challenges and disappointments. He even got sick and experienced pain.

Jesus suffered.

Theologian Stanley Grenz argues: “[Jesus] traveled no shortcut to maturity, transcended none of the limiting aspects of embodied existence, was spared no difficulty in living in this fallen world.” In fact, his suffering included not only intense physical pain, culminating ultimately in a gruesome death on the cross, but the unthinkable spiritual and emotional pain of being abandoned by God and his closest friends. And it is the reality of Jesus’ suffering (and his ability to relate to us in our pain) that provides the basis for any words of comfort that we might offer others.

The One who intercedes for us before God is well-acquainted with sorrow and pain. And he delights in showering us with his immeasurable grace. From him we have received, according to John the evangelist, “Grace upon grace.” Weeping may endure for a while, but joy is on the way. Could anything be more comforting than that?