i am not but i know I AM

i am not but i know I AM
by: Louie Giglio
Book review by: Serena Allison

I chose to read this book with a friend who is also a worship leader. I’m not certain how she heard of it, but as soon as I heard who the author was I excitedly agreed to read it with her. The author, Louie Giglio, is a pastor and public speaker, but most widely known as the founder of Passion Conferences.
In this book Louie Giglio points out that our lives are a part of a larger story than we realize, God’s story. Therefore, we should resign our pursuit of fame, to play a “starring role” as Giglio calls it, and realize that the “star role” is already taken by God Himself. Giglio encourages the reader to make the most of our opportunity to play a “supporting role” in the never ending story of God. He makes the point that God does not need us, but that we have the privilege of partnering with Him in reconciling a lost world to Himself.
In reference to God commissioning Moses to lead the Israelites out of bondage and into their promised land, Giglio says, “God was going to do all the work, He just wanted a leader with skin to speak on His behalf and lead the people to His promised destination” (34). We recall that Moses’ response to God’s call is that of fear and reservation. Giglio speaks to this, pointing out that God does not inflate Moses’ self-esteem by saying “ ‘you can do this!’ ‘Instead, God answers Moses’ Who am I? question with five life shifting words as He simply affirms, ‘I will be with you.’ ” A little later he states, “When God invites us into His story, assigning us various roles that are seemingly too big for us to carry out, His affirmation is always the same-I will be with you” (35).

In realizing just how small we are, one could begin to wonder how important we really are to God. Giglio addresses this by saying, “When we see just how tiny we are, our self-worth and our God-worth can become one and the same as we are stunned with the reality that we have been made in His likeness and invited to know Him personally.
I am not, but He knows my name.
I am not, but He has pursued me in His love.
I am not, but I have been purchased and redeemed.
I am not, but I have been invited into The Story.
I am not, but I know the Creator of the universe.
I am not, but I know I AM! (52) Giglio does well to strike a balanced perspective by showing the reader how great God truly is, how small we are in light of Him, and yet how very much He loves us.

Giglio also speaks to “petty clashes” and “glory wars,” things that might distract us from the joy of obeying this precious scripture, “He must become greater, I must become less.” He brings to light the idea that when John the Baptist could have been jealous as people began to flock to Jesus, he resisted by keeping an eternal perspective. Giglio states, “In John’s mind he wasn’t losing his people to a bigger ministry. He was just doing what he came to do-holding wide the door for the arrival of heaven’s King” (94-95). What an essential principle for everyone in ministry to grasp. We are all on the same team, seeking the same kingdom of heaven, and pursuing as many worshippers as possible for the glory of God.

In pursuit of helping the reader see the exalted God, Giglio centers briefly on the Sabbath. Giglio states, “You see, Sabbath is not so much about a day off as it is a “day up”- a day to remember that He is God and we are not. Without the Sabbath, we forget who we are and lose sight of who He is, leaving us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. When there is no Sabbath in our lives we become intoxicated by the lie that the sum of our lives depends on our effort alone” (101). He goes on to say, “Sabbath rest is about a state of mind, a deep-seated belief that God is the creator and sustainer of all things-an acknowledgement that He is sufficient and that He can be trusted.” I love his candidness throughout the book, but this next line is great! Giglio states, “Because one of symptoms of sin is short-term memory loss, we quickly forget that He set in motion the entire universe before we arrived on the scene” (102).

Because I’m a practical, “how to” kind of person, this next section is just my style, a favorite part of the book. In fact, I’d like to hang this as a reminder on my bathroom mirror or post in my car. After reminding the reader who God is and who we are not in a number of ways, Giglio tells us how to avoid making the story about us. I could not phrase it better so I’ll give it to you straight from the book. Giglio says, “And how would we know when we have slipped back into the story of us? We know when we see these telling signs:
§ When I live like I’m privileged, I have lost the plot. In other words, when I start acting like I deserve a certain outcome or a higher standard of life, I have failed to strike the fatal blow to self and am living like I actually have rights in this world apart from God.
§ When I am demanding, I have lost the plot, insisting that God and
others meet my needs on the timetable that I see fit.
§ When I act pompous, I have lost the plot, thinking that I am somebody while only proving that I haven’t had a good look at God today.
§ When I crumble under the pressure, I have lost the plot, declaring that the outcome of life rests squarely on my shoulders, not His.
§ When I start protecting, I have lost the plot, marking turf as though it were actually mine and forgetting that everything I have comes first from above.
§ When I crave the spotlight for myself, I have lost the plot, losing sight of the story line and the one true Star.
§ When I fail to celebrate the successes of others who are living for His fame, I have lost the plot, thinking that possibly we are on different teams when we actually share supporting roles in the same story.
§ When I dwell on feelings of being unloved, unnoticed, or insignificant, I have lost the plot, abandoning the miracle of knowing God on a first-name basis.
Giglio calls these moments “reminders that the life of smallness requires a vigilant watch and a constant willingness to strike the fatal blow in the heart of me” (134-135).

I really enjoyed reading this book. I would highly recommend it to anyone, but especially to those in ministry where the stakes are even higher, should one succumb to the temptation to live for self and lead others astray. It is so easy for one to lose focus and begin to think the story is about him self. Whether self-centered focus shows up as pride or insecurity, this book helps jerk life into perspective. This life is truly about the story of God.