As you regular bloggers know, the staff here at Calvary Church is striving to stay relevant with our ever changing culture and stay, at the same time, committed to the Word of God. That within itself can get pretty controversial, which brings us to the point of discussion and tension. The book that we are doing as a staff read is “The Search To Belong.” By Joseph R. Myers (check out the next blog down for a picture.) We recently tackled the topic of “longing to belong.” There is so much in that one statement I am going to throw grammar and punctuation considerations out the window and just unpack some of my issues with this statement (and others in the book) hopefully, engaging our readers in some response and communication of the “beef” I am about to fry up.
In this book conversation one of the points the author is making is people have a desire to “belong before they believe.” So, let’s start there. People want to be involved in something before they commit to it. Whether it be church, small groups, Christianity, colleges, clubs, and the list goes on. Being able to be a part of something, and feeling a belonging in that something is what everyone searches for. But it often times is at the cost of believing, can people truly belong to something if they don’t share what is at that “something’s” core……its beliefs. Is this good? Is this bad? Can it be both?
This brings up the second issue, what is real belonging? The book would also state that belonging is an “individual experience” and “need not be reciprocal.” Is that really true, do you really belong if you are the only person who thinks they do? To me, this would be like saying I really feel like I belong to the Amvets every time I go there for meals or events. No, I’m not a Veteran. No, I’ve never been to a war, unless you include Call of Duty 2 on the X-Box. But, I really feel like I belong, who are you to say I don’t. Or, take for instance my entire Jr. High School experience. To put it honestly and bluntly, I was a geek, dweeb, nerd, and all-around weirdo wrapped into one skinny, four-eyed, 110 pound 12 year old. HOWEVER, I truly felt that I belonged everywhere I went, when I was with the “cool” kids I thought that I was a cool kid and belonged with them, same with the “jocks”, or with my youth group. Did my feelings of belonging make me a part of the group? Because, the feelings I had were indeed genuine, and it wasn’t until later in life, after some maturity that I looked back and saw how out of place I truly was. Do people’s feelings of belonging over-ride the actuality of belonging? Man, that messes with my head. Told you I was just going to unpack. Let’s put it into a concrete setting.
Let’s put this “belong before belief” and “belonging reality” into the church/Christianity setting. Is there a disservice being done in the Church and Christianity when we let people belong because we don’t want to hurt their feelings, even though their beliefs and actions are totally off base? Are we the ones that even get to decided who is and isn’t off base? I know there is a balance, but I am wondering where “the consensus” believes that balance to be.
Let me get to a couple of concrete interactive questions to sum up the article.
FIRST= When do people actually belong? Is it when they feel the do or something else? Do we even get to say, or is it an individual experience?
SECOND= Is the whole “belonging before belief” idea kosher? What are its positives and negatives? What role should this desire be allowed to have in the Church and Christian belief setting.
Looking forward to your input and interactions.
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3 comments:
okay, this is pretty deep for me to just respond without a lot more thinking on the matter. the questions you brought up are very valid and worth considering. sounds like an interesting book.
Wow Joe. You've said a mouthful. Let me respond to at least one of your questions: Should we allow people to belong without believing?
Yes... but here's the catch. Belonging must be moving toward believing.
Anyone who walks in the doors to our church building should feel accepted, but eventually (sooner than later) unbelievers should start feeling uncomfortable, as the Word is preached and they are confronted with their sinfulness.
But here's the problem: Often we present the gospel like this, "If you confess your sins and trust Christ, you're in. If not, you're out." Conversion is viewed strictly as an event rather than as a process of coming to know Christ.
However, before people will believe they need to see what they're believing in, so to speak. It's the same reason that I never buy something over the phone from a telemarketer. "Show me what it looks like," I'll say. And this is precisely how unbelievers feel: "Before I embrace this Christianity thing, I need to see it in action."
Now, certainly we cannot incorporate non-Christians into the "membership" of Christ, but we should gladly invite them to experience the Christian love and acceptance that flow from our community.
Plus, by recognizing that evangelism is not an instantaneous affair, we rid ourselves of the frustrating mentality that demands instant results. And we also show that we actually believe that it is God who saves and not our high-pressure tactics.
belonging. if i think i belong. then what's it matter if i techincally belong or not?? my sense of "belonging" is being satisfied.
the danger with that? simply put: a false sense of belonging in the church could mean BIG TROUBLE. it could mean that someone comes to church their entire life and believes that's enough to make them a Christian.
there should be a sense of belonging (hospitality/welcoming) that takes place when someone visits that church...but that sense of belonging should change as the individual spends more time with believers...they should sense a disconnect when it comes to those who are "members."
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